For about a month I’ve been meaning to go to this meditation class offered by the yoga studio I usually go to in Rockville. Well, I finally went today and it was sort of a bust. We did some breathing exercises and then a series of meditations on “loving kindness,” where we were supposed to focus on a loved one, a person we feel indifferent towards, and someone with whom we have a difficult relationship and mentally send feelings of love and kindness towards them, or something like that. Was weird. I couldn’t focus cuz I was distracted by trying to get into a comfortable position and just trying to breathe naturally. Oy. Anything that brings focus to my breathing pattern will set me off my natural breathing. I ended up yawning an awful lot. The teacher talked about trying to expand the space between our thoughts as sort of the purpose of practicing meditation. Which perplexes me. I mean, there are lot of times where I feel like my head is empty and I feel out of it. That can’t possibly be the aim of meditiation, to be empty-headed, can it? Oy. I suppose I should have asked the teacher questions but I felt guilty about interrupting the flow of the class with my probably inane basic technical questions. What really ticked me off though was this girl who went on and on about herself and how she’s this warm loving person cuz she was raised that way and how she’s gone to therapy and trying to build a bubble around herself to not get hurt as much, and how her friends say she needs to think more inside the box. Blah. Lady, last time I checked, this wasn’t group therapy. I was really irritated with the way she kept mentioning that she’s this really loving, kind, nice person, and I’m thinking, you know, to my experience, people who are REALLY that nice don’t SAY that they’re nice people. It just really turned me off. The other two ladies were middle aged. I got the feeling that if I got to know them better, they’d turn out to be like Clown Face from Mean Face’s blog. Fake nice.
I’d rather go back to traditional therapy than take another class like that. Doh.